This past weekend I had a conversation with my brother-in law. His two girls are now in college and he and his wife are ‘Empty Nesters." He seemed a little down as we discussed the "what now." He had some short term goals, most of them related to socialization. He did, however, have some additional goals that were two years out.
Many years ago, before my firm began using the OMG assessment tool, I personally completed an assessment. The results came back which indicated I was not goal-oriented. I had a hard time believing that because I saw myself as goal-oriented. After reviewing the results I had a conversation with David Kurlan, the President of OMG. During the conversation I shared all of my perceived personal goals with David. Here were some of my goals
We want to travel to Europe.
We want to ski in Switzerland.
We want to live in a wooded lot with a good deal of acreage.
We want to have children.
There were many other We goals that I discussed with David. I will not bore you with all of the details but here is the bottom line of our conversation.
David Kurlan said, "Al, I am all in favor of We goals between you and your wife. We goals are very important, but there is more. The We goals you have are not I or Me Goals. What about you, the I goals? I goals are the goals we have for ourselves alone and are the goals that motivate us on a daily basis." Much to my amazement I had none.
David went on to explain that he wanted me to come up with some personal I goals. He also stipulated that the personal goals had to be in addition to the We goals. We then made an appointment to discuss them two weeks later.
Over the next two weeks I had to come up with personal goals that neither compromised nor were in conflict with the We goals.
The day came when David Kurlan and I were scheduled to meet. I shared my personal goals with David. My assignment for the following thirty days was to focus on my personal goals on a daily basis. The end result was the following month was the best month in new business I had ever had.
The lessons I learned from that experience are as follows:
If I do not take care of me first, I can't take care of anyone else.
Taking care of me is not selfish.
Taking care of me is the fuel that gives me the energy to care for my clients and my loved ones.
If I am there for everyone except me, I will run out of fuel.
If I run out of fuel I will not be able to take care of my clients or loved ones.
Selfishness has not been defined properly.
Even when we think we are on top of our game, we need reminders. Last Friday I went for an eye exam. The doctor said, "Al, you have not been here in five years." I was stunned. It seemed like it had only been a year ago. To my benefit my vision had not changed.
Here is my message:
Have short term goals.
Have long term goals.
Take care of yourself so you can care for the people who are important in your life. Don't take five years to take care of yourself, it may be too late.
On a final note ~ You are the most important person in the world for you and you are the most important person in the world for the people you care about. If you are not taking care of you, you can't take care of anyone else. Not your family, your staff or your clients. What are you going to do for yourself today without compromising anything else? Make your comments and share them with everyone. You can be the one that makes the difference in someone else's life. Here is your opportunity. Be the first to comment. See below.